Being straightforward and understanding where each other stands, even if you don’t always agree, is a sign of a healthy relationship. While learning how to communicate your feelings is tricky, unhealthy infatuation can spiral mixed signals out of control. When you’re low, that same response could ruin your day. If you’re feeling high, a like on facebook or a vague response to a text could mean the world. into whatever color best feeds your current narrative. This might seem obvious but, the lens of infatuation has a funny way of shaping signs and signals from your S.O. Still unsure whether or not your relationship is based on mutual interest or infatuation? A sk yourself these questions: Being mindful of how a relationship or person makes you feel can be super beneficial whether you’re in a relationship or not. If you feel yourself or a romantic partner becoming too intense, obsessive or controlling, take a step back and check-in with your gut. When infatuation is fueled by insecurity, the relationship either ends as quickly as it starts, or drags on as the infatuation morphs into a harmful addiction to the other person. When relationships cool-off from infatuation, it doesn’t mean that couples care about each other less, it just means the relationship has evolved (and will continue to evolve) to a more sustainable, mutual bond. In healthy relationships, however, the fiery initial phase of infatuation is fleeting, soon giving way to a true partnership based on genuine trust and respect instead of an obsessive attachment to the other person. It can be confusing to understand the difference between infatuation and love, as many relationships begin with a generous sprinkling of infatuation. Knowing the difference between infatuation and love This can hurt your relationship if it crosses the line from “we are excited to spend time together” to “I need you to spend all of your time with me.” In a healthy relationship, your partner will be excited to hang out with you without feeling like they have to give up a part of their independence. The desire to give all of your attention to another person is so overwhelming, you may find it difficult to concentrate on anything else. In reality, to experience this level of intensity is to feel completely consumed by it. Sorry to disappoint you, romantics, out there but, this notion of “love at first sight” just doesn’t exist the way it’s portrayed in movies. Intense relationships like these are usually characterized by grandiose gestures (think: The Notebook), intense physical attraction and undeniable passion. Infatuation often presents itself as two people falling “madly in love” with each other from the very beginning of a relationship. If you’ve ever so much as flipped through the TV or watched the latest rom-com, you’ve seen countless examples of infatuation, whether or not it’s labeled as such (and it never is). So, how do we distinguish fantasy from reality, in other words, how do we know when it’s love or infatuation? Understanding Infatuation Don’t freak out just yet! A healthy dose of infatuation is a normal start to any relationship. Rushes of dopamine can change the wiring of your brain, giving you intense highs followed by extreme lows talk about disorientating!Įxperts say prolonged infatuation eventually turns into limerance, an involuntary obsession with a partner that is usually marked by excessive thoughts, feelings, and a desire to have your those feelings reciprocated. On a physiological level, infatuation puts your brain into overdrive, opening the floodgates of feel-good chemicals. Whether you are falling fast or somewhere under the umbrella of romantic obsession, infatuation can feel overwhelmingly intense, to say the least. Who can deny the joy of a new crush? And if the crush turns into a new fling? Fireworks.□ It’s terrifying and thrilling to make yourself vulnerable to someone new, and far too easy to jump in deep when you’re infatuated with everything about your partner. Written by Writer’s Corps member Jenna Danneberger
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